A Symbol of Light

Fairytales are fantasy, but a memorable fairytale can offer real life lessons that are instructive to children and adults alike. As a child, I was obsessed with the Cinderella fairytale. I was fascinated by the magical story and the idea that an ordinary pumpkin could transform into an elegant carriage and field mice could become stately stallions to transport a beautiful belle in a gorgeous gown to a fancy ball.

I had great sympathy for Cinderella and the cruel mistreatment she endured. Yet, no matter how unpleasant her homelife was, Cinderella stayed hopeful and positive.

My mother was concerned, because she didn’t want me to interpret the fairytale as a blueprint for my life and adopt Cinderella as a role model. She wanted me to live a life believing my self-worth was not dependent on the attention of a man. She wanted marriage to be a choice among many and not my only goal in life. Above all, she did not want me to pin my hopes and self-worth to a fairytale marriage and a fictional prince charming.

A staunch supporter of women’s equality, my mother was a feminist who defended equal rights for women in the 60s and 70s. She carried me on her shoulders when I was a young child and we marched in equal rights demonstrations across the country. She wanted me to be independent and strong in my own right, and she led by example.

Looking at the Cinderella fairytale now, my interpretation of the story is not at all as my mother feared. I see Cinderella as a role model, but not because she captured the heart of the prince and became a beautiful princess with a fairytale ending (although kudos to her). I see her as a symbol of tremendous strength and resilience against the negativity that came from her stepfamily. She was clearly a woman in her own power.

In the story, Cinderella was orphaned and left in the care of her stepmother, a wicked woman who thought only of herself and her two daughters. She enslaved Cinderella and tried everything in her power to destroy Cinderella’s self-worth and bend her character.
The dichotomy of light and dark, positivity and negativity, is instructive. Many who are subjected to negativity are injured by it. Whether the negativity stems from jealousy, judgment, or other dark motive, the victim often internalizes emotional pain. This can manifest in low self-esteem, anger, resentment, and shame.

It is a natural reaction, when we are injured, to lick our wounds (which often become infected and make us sick). My spiritual advisor, G. S. Eli, describes this phenomenon in his parable of the Umbrella of Darkness:

Imagine that you are basking sunlight. Along comes another who is standing under the darkness of an umbrella with the intent of exposing you to their negativity. If you allow this trespass, if you choose to stand under the umbrella, you are in the same darkness as the perpetrator, capable of the same negativity, the same unhealthy trespass. The goal is to step out of the darkness and into the light by embracing empathy, forgiveness, and other traits of positivity and characteristics of good.

Cinderella was a victim of darkness and easily could have become consumed with self-pity. Yet, she survived by staying true to her character. She remained kind in the face of unkindness, hopeful in the face of despair. She maintained her sense of self-worth when exposed to judgment and shame. She had internal beauty where the jealously of her stepsisters were ugly inside and out.

In fact, I believe it is this strength that the prince found so attractive. Remember, he went in search of her. Cinderella did not need the prince; the prince may have needed Cinderella – a partner he respected. Very often, we see with more than our eyes.

Many of us find ourselves in Cinderella’s shoes at one time or another. The question is whether we can navigate the darkness and return to the light. If you see Cinderella as a role model, like I do, then you know what to do when confronted by the temptation of negativity: follow the light.